Sep 7, 2011

Platform Building Challenge - 200 Word Fast Fiction

Surprise Antagonist 
by Balin Jones

The door swung open and in walked the antagonist of my story. She was grimier than I expected. Older too. I envisioned her more sophisticated and coiffed. This woman had wiry hair that hadn’t seen a comb in months. She wore a week’s worth of tattered clothes, her left eye was sewn shut and she appeared to have just one tooth. I couldn’t fathom how she would carry my story.

The principal looked up from her desk. “May I help you?”

“Heard you were looking for some tension and drama.”

“I’m afraid you don’t fit our stereotype for a prom queen’s nemesis.”

The old woman reached down the neck of her shirts, pulled out a sheet of crumpled paper and handed it to the principal. Three small pills spilled onto the desk and I saw the potential.

“That says I do.”

The principal scanned the document. “You inherited the school?”

“Yup.” She popped one of the pills in her mouth and swallowed it dry. “Sorry, they quiet the voices.”

When the principal clutched the document to her chest and ran from her office screaming, I knew I had the perfect antagonist,at the exact word count before the door swung shut.

If you enjoyed this, please like me over at Rach's Site by clicking here. I'm #232


  1. Wow ! What a unique take on the prompt ! I love your sense of humour . My entry is no.#59

  2. Awesome take on the prompt! Very well written, too!

  3. Nice! That just made me laugh the hardest of all the entries so far. What a way to shake things up. Great work, Balin! :)

  4. Fun take on the challenge :) I liked it! Thanks for visiting my blog as well.

  5. That's so awesome! Great job on the challenge ^_^

  6. So original. I love it! Made me smile.

  7. What a clever twist to this challenge! Loved the dialogue, especially "Sorry, they quiet the voices" ^_^
    I'm entry #333

  8. What Angelina said. And Lisakane. Came here after @yawninbug praised you on twitter. She was right. After reading that stuff in the sidebar, I think we'd get along. My protag has a split-personality. My entry is at The chocolate contest for followers is ongoing, with a link after my flash fiction.

  9. Love your piece! Such a unique perspective! Thanks for popping by my blog and taking a look at my piece. :)